I’m not a big fan of the grocery store.  I like to go in, get what is on the list, and be done with it!  My husband, on the other hand, is enamored.  He loves to go there, spend some quality time, smell the melons, squeeze the tomatoes, carefully check the color on the bananas, sort through the fresh corn, look over the muffin choices, check out the desserts, ponder over the ice cream flavors, check out the nut choices, and finish in the candy aisle.  As you can see, he has a predilection for lots of bad stuff he shouldn’t be eating, but that’s another story.  Me, I grab the list, get my stuff, and I dance in the aisles while I wait for him to check out.  It’s not that I especially like grocery store music, but if I am standing, and music is playing, my body simply begins to move with it.  I can’t help it!  Sometimes I can be caught doing the yoga tree pose or even yoga airplane if I have a wide aisle.  Hey, it helps my balance, and I have nothing else to do while I am waiting.  I especially practice this while in the checkout line.  It really helps not to get irritated with waiting!  This true confession may leave you thinking I might be a little crazy. What’s wrong with that, I ask?  Can you consider adding a little bit of craziness to your life?  The organic crazy, not the drug induced kind.

So, let’s go with I may be a little crazy.  If you really think this is a bit crazy, you may be way too inhibited!  If you are constantly worrying about what other people are thinking of you, this also suggests you are probably too inhibited!  If you think people are staring at you or judging you, again, you are perhaps too inhibited.  And even worse, you are undoubtedly not having much fun throughout your day.  Instead you are too busy worrying rather than being able to focus on the moment and enjoy the “now.”  And strangely enough, those people you are worrying about judging you are actually way too busy worrying about themselves to really even notice you!  Eckhart Tolle, who wrote The Power of Now, advises, “Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.”  We need to unshackle ourselves, and stop taking ourselves so seriously.

Have you ever seriously considered why alcohol and other recreational drugs are so popular?  The reason is that they give us the high that frees us up to be ourselves and enjoy ourselves.  Did you realize that you can actually achieve this state without ingesting one mood altering substance?  I want you to ask yourself why it is ok to be uninhibited if you are ingesting a drug, but not if you are sober?  What is the difference?  We must wonder about the message that our culture given us about spontaneity that makes us fear it.  Can you only set yourself free if you are high?  Many years ago, I used to sing Paul Simon’s famous tune, “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover,” to encourage myself to end a relationship.  These lyrics can be useful to encourage us to slip out of our protective gear and get our SELVES free!  It is wonderfully relieving to remove that defensive protective armor.   It is so much more fun than sitting in a bar, drinking alcohol. Instead, as Paul Simon suggests, “Just get yourself free!”

There are actually many positive reasons for becoming less inhibited.  As we allow ourselves to be more spontaneous, we become more creative.  Our brains become more flexible and our neural connections are enhanced in new ways.  Because we are less blocked, we can become more aware, more sensorily awakened.  Because we are not so blocked, we may see and hear things in an entirely different way. We may also feel more energetic because the freedom will allow us to be less stifled by our natural defensive armoring.  We will also feel happier, because a little dose of disinhibition will create a natural high through the release of our own endorphins and enkephalins. This happiness can be contagious and may infect those around you, compounding the spontaneous feelings of well-being.  This sense of well-being will also include the benefit of stress reduction, and stress reduction is the very best preventive medicine from illness. For those interested in the effects of stress on overall health, I highly recommend The Stress of Life and Stress and Distress by Hans Selye.

I recommend that you practice a little “naughtiness” every day.  Stretch your boundaries of impropriety, dare to be different, practice being authentic within your own skin.  Famous Humanistic Psychologist Carl Rogers said, “What is most personal is most general.”   We don’t have to fear being human in all of its expressions, as deep inside, we all know the same uncertainties.  Helen Keller, who was deaf and blind stated, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing!  If Helen Keller could experience life in this way then anyone can.  Throw off your shoes, be a little improper, find a way to enjoy every moment, and seek your adventure!  And the next time you go to the grocery store, if you see me dancing in the aisles, will you dance with me?  I was just wondering……..

Until recently, we believed that the brain formed in early life and that its capacity to grow and learn began to decline thereafter.  Newer research has demonstrated that the brain has an amazing neuroplasticity capacity.  This means that we can learn new, even complicated things late into life.  Because of what we have learned about the brain’s plasticity, we also know that we can unlearn things that were earlier programmed, such as a fear, or even more debilitating, phobias.  It means that if we are right handed, that even as adults we can learn to write with our left hand.  It means that you can change beliefs if you practice reciting opposing ideas.  Think about the possibilities!  Because of what your brain learns from it, your daily environment is a tremendous influence on how you feel about your life.  What would you like to learn, change, or overcome?  I was just wondering……

Let’s start with the concept of fear.  When I was very young, before I went to graduate school, I worked for several years for an airline.  Because I had a fear of flying, { fear of being confined in that space from which I could not escape}, I worked in reservations, not as an attendant.  However, we did receive free trips and I would prep myself with alcohol before flying, one time at 7:00 am to catch an early flight to Miami.  After I left this job and got into the mental health field, I spent many years studying for my advanced degrees during which time I made sure all of my traveling was either by car or by train.  Twenty nine years passed and my husband said he wanted to travel somewhere outside of North America, so we drove to Florida to take our first cruise.  The next year my husband announced that he would meet me in Florida for the next cruise because he was not willing to drive there again.  My flying phobia had grown really severe in all of these years of avoidance, but I knew it was time to face my fear.  So with great trepidation, I made the airline reservations four months before the planned trip and then I began the work to create new cerebral neurons that loved flying.  Twice a week I had long drives for nursing home consulting, and I began each drive by talking out loud to myself about how I loved flying.  I would remind myself of my accomplishments, note that many people fly and enjoy it and if they can do it so can I.  I basically engaged in a pep talk to myself for about 20 minutes.  I am convinced the verbal component is crucial because it prevents the mind from thinking an opposite thought.  Fears become greater because we give them a lot of attention. Every time we remind ourselves we are afraid of something and list the reasons why, we are reinforcing that fear and that thought races over the neural connection already established for it so that it becomes a deep trench in the brain’s neural connections. My verbal practice created a new fear free neural connection in my brain resulting in a fear free flight four months later.  Since then I have flown all over the world without fear.

Another way to empower the brain’s plasticity is to learn something new.  We all do this, of course, but often we allow our learning to decline after our school years and even more often after retirement.  But just like in childhood when we learn to walk, to talk, to ride a bike, etc., we can learn strange new things with practice.  While I was reading Norman Doidge’s book, The Brain that Changes Itself, I began writing the alphabet and one short sentence once a day for a month with my left hand.  As recommended in the book, I then stopped the practice and 4 months later when I attempted the same exercise, the writing was much improved!  The book explained that it takes some months for the new learning to coalesce and then the result is improvement.  When I broke my right wrist around this time, they handed me papers in the hospital and asked me to sign an X with my left hand.  I astonished the staff when I produced my signature with my left hand!  I highly recommend the Doidge book to anyone who is interested in learning and the brain.

At the same time we must realize that due to this plasticity, our brains are constantly learning from our environments.  Our belief system becomes structured by our surroundings.  Our brains learn not only from what we study and read, but also from what we watch on television and by the company we keep.  Even something as seemingly innocuous as a sitcom may teach us what we come to believe are acceptable norms.  Once our beliefs are formed, it is much harder to challenge them.  It is important to take a moment and try to think outside of the box and wonder about the learning environment of your brain.  Is it getting enough exposure to life enhancing information, or is its learning environment lacking in growth producing ideas and instead, its exposure is too narrow and one sided?  Does your living environment make you think or are you in a non-stimulating routine that does not promote enrichment? Are the people in your inner circle promoting growth and new ideas for you to explore or do they portray life as a struggle, every man for himself? Are they happy or complaining? Without your awareness, your brain is learning every single minute of your day.  You have control over that which you expose to your brain.  Think of your brain as a camera.  You can change its exposure.   Are you content with your daily education?  I was just wondering…………………

As we welcome the New Year, many of us begin to agonize over the promise of our annual resolutions.  Because we so often fail at them or lose our commitment after a few months, I thought this year it might be fun to try something else.  Look again is a practice of quickly recreating reality.  It is fun, it is challenging, it is creative!  Are you willing to try something new?  I was just wondering…………………

Years ago, as physicists were attempting to perform a double screen experiment with light, trying to determine whether it was a wave or a particle, they became confused and frustrated.  The problem that occurred was that with each attempt to view the true nature of light, they became more confounded, as one time it appeared as a particle and the very next experiment demonstrated it to be a wave.  After a number of experiments, they finally concluded that it depended upon how you looked at it. Even more amazing, when a recorder was set up to observe the experiment, the electrons behaved in a particular way, different than when the recorder was not present.   This has awesome implications for the field of psychology and human behavior.  According to quantum mechanics, this means that consciousness defines how things behave.  So, the way we see the world is just that, the way we see the world, but not necessarily how the world is, because another consciousness (individual) sees it differently.  Also, the perspective and attitude of the viewer shapes the outcome!  We tend to think of reality as an ultimate truth, when in fact what you see is dependent upon how you look at it.  This is one of the reasons I love psychology so much.  There is no absolute reality.  When you have a disagreement with someone, from their perspective, they are right and from your perspective, you are right.  You are both right and you are both not right!  Quantum physics helps us to understand this dilemma, that is, it depends on how you look at it.

Since I first read about this concept I have remained fascinated by it.  I have tried to trace this in my own life.  I have thought myself fickle at times, because I like something, and then I don’t, but then I can see the other side and like it again for another reason.  Ultimately, I think this is a good thing because you become aware that you can always see it in a better way.  And we live by how we experience our lives.  We can be happy, we can be sad.  It depends on how we look at it.

For instance, how do you see your significant other?   I challenge you to look again.  Change your attitude and look once more.  You will learn to see the chameleon you create!  Think about it!  How much of who they are is real and how much is created by your attitude and baggage?

How about the other people in your life?  How do you treat them?  Are you really sure you are responding accurately?  Are you positive the people you don’t like are really as bad as you have concluded?  Can you look again and see them morph into something else?

Think about the things in your life you obsess over.  Do you really know why you are spending your time and energy doing this?  Knowing now more about this law of physics, can you see perhaps that things are not really the way you have been seeing them?  In order to confirm this possibility, all you have to do is to ask a few people what they think and you will get as many different answers as there are respondents!  Some will agree, sort of, wholeheartedly, a little, not at all, but they will be unlike your viewpoint.  Do you really need to hold on to these ideas that cause you distress and worry? Maybe things just aren’t exactly as you have perceived them!  Look for the hopeful and calming perspectives. As quantum physics would say, all the possibilities exist!  Chose a positive view!

Especially important is how you are seeing yourself.  Look again.  Make a list of positives if needed.  Read it every day to remind yourself that these traits exist and then look at yourself again.  Watch yourself improve as you sculpt yourself through your evolving perspective.  As the observer of yourself, you are the creator of the outcome!  That is an incredibly powerful concept!

As you begin to digest your newfound powers to create a more satisfying world by the way you are looking at it, never forget the profound authority you have over your life.  If you are not happy with what you are seeing, remind yourself of the kaleidoscope in your brain, and just shift the contents to create a new vision.  If you don’t like what you see, then shift again.  There is always another view.  Can you see it? I was just wondering……………………